Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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