I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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