Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
