she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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