I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
