dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
