my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
