You smell like stripper and shame
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So many bounce houses so little time
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
