the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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