Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I believe in your delicious
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
