i just wanna soil my oats bro
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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