sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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