she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Houston, we have a blender
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
