So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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