Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
