I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize