after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
