You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
