I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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