Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
