True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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