dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize