He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
