If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
