I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
