We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
