I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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