Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We are all done wearing pants today
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize