Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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