I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
