I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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