Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize