Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
