i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
