so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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