What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
