Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
