thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In the future we'll all be gay
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
