I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
