felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
