So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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