i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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