we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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