One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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