you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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