Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
