There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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