just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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