You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
