We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
