I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize