maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
