Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whod you bang
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
