He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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