Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I had to cum in my sink.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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