bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
