My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
