Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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