seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
