Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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