What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
