Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
