seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
