I must be too annoying 4 u.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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