Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
