So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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