At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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