I want to stick my p in your. b.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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