Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
