My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
