I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
