And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
